Happy Birthday, Miztrezboo Geekward & Dorkmmett
by BamaBabe
Summary: With the help of Jasper, Edward and Emmett get dates.


This was written as a birthday present for Miztrezboo, who loves Geekward and loves to see him get the girl (and this particular girl). For the rest of the stories, which you will want to read, go to: http://www(dot)fanfiction(dot)net/u/2126407/CBP2009 or check my favorites for the story and author.

* * *

**EPOV**

Emmett and I sat in the same booth, in the same bar, that we had sat in every Friday night for as long as either of us could remember. The 'Scotland Yard' was not the kind of bar that frat boys or young professionals hung out in. At this bar, we had monthly domino run challenges and Rube Goldberg contraption contests. There was even a bank of computers which were set-up along the side for the guys who couldn't leave 'World of Warcraft' alone for even one night. The same type of guys who were unable to go one night without their online friends. If they could even call them friends.

In the corner of the room were two guys debating the lost art of the 'slide rule' and which calculator they thought replaced it best. These were the types of conversations that often became heated in a place like this. Someone might actually _raise their voice_.

This was not the kind of bar we saw women in, so when Jasper Whitlock walked in with three of the most beautiful women we'd ever seen, Emmett and I actually lost the ability to debate W.O.W. versus Dungeons and Dragons.

Jasper was kind of the interloper within our small group – he was popular. He often went out on dates, a lot of dates, in fact. Women seemed to love him, even men seemed to like him – he was a lovable, charismatic, kind of guy. Emmett and I hated him, of course, and yet, he was our closest friend.

"A blonde, a brunette and a redhead walk into a bar…" Emmett started.

"There's no redhead Emmett." I started chuckling but stopped when I snorted and could feel my face redden as the three goddesses moved closer to our table.

Time seemed to slow. I began to remember all the things that Jasper had tried to teach us over the years. The conversation that had brought us to this point in time was still fresh in my mind. One afternoon, Jasper had us watch 'Beauty and the Geek.' Because Emmett and I were firmly entrenched in that status, he thought we needed the encouragement.

"How are any of these girls falling for this crap?" I wondered aloud.

"And why would anyone take advice from a guy as freaky looking as that dude?" added Emmett, pushing his glasses up his nose.

Jasper interrupted our bitching.

"He looks like a freak so idiots like you will realize that it isn't about looks. If that freak show can get girls to fawn over him, you can, too. C'mon guys, you're not bad looking. You're both tall and when you don't hide behind those awful black-rimmed glasses, girls can actually see your faces. It's about eye contact, gentlemen...If they can't see your eyes, they aren't going to respond to anything you have to say."

Jasper stood up and turned off the TV before facing us.

"Right. Like you're a good example. You walk in a room and panties start dropping like the Dow in a Bear Market." Emmett's natural snorting laugh echoed as he laughed at his own joke.

I nodded in earnest to add impact to Emmett's statement.

"Dude, I'm nothing special. I look up when I walk in a room. I have a smile on my face. I nod to the people who make eye contact. I look confident. Even an ugly fucker like me can get attention with the right amount of confidence."

It was my turn to snort. Jasper was hardly an 'ugly fucker'. At six-two, he was a bit taller than I. He was tanned with blonde hair and blue eyes. Surfer good looks...

"Nice try, Jasper. If you're an ugly fucker, I must be a damn toad."

Feeling lower than usual, I stood to go to the kitchen for a beer.

"How about this, I find three ladies who seem nice and open-minded, and we see if you two can do the things I just said and get a second date. Whaddya say?"

Jasper looked so eager, so enthusiastic, that I almost believed it could be done.

"Alright. I might need a while to practice, but I'm in...Em?"

Emmett looked a bit more skeptical. "I dunno, Edward. You really think we could pull this off?"

"Of course you can!" Jasper said, hands out like a conductor getting ready to lead an orchestra.

"You pipe down, you Casanova looking S.O.B. I need to talk to my fellow geek-boy over here."

Emmett's glare almost dampened his enthusiasm...almost. Jasper raised his hands in submission and went for another beer, while allowing us time to come to an agreement.

Emmett sat on the couch with a sigh. "I'm tired, Edward. Being me just doesn't seem to be working on girls, but I don't really want to pretend to be something I'm not just to have them be pissed at me when the geek comes pouring out."

"Uh, I don't really think he's saying we have to be different people. It sounds like we just have to change how we walk and stuff. I mean, really, we're both smart, so we should be able to figure this out if we just do it logically, right?"

It sounded right to me, but I was still nervous. I'll admit, I was scared I would make a fool out of myself, yet again.

"Yeah, you sound real confident there, octave boy. If your voice goes any higher, dolphins and dogs will be the only ones to hear you." Again, Emmett snorted at his own joke.

I mustered all the confidence, and bass, I could for my reply. "I'm doing it. I'm tired of going home alone. I'm tired of having no one to share the stuff I like with. I mean, if she likes me enough, and I like her enough, we should be able to do each other's stuff, right?"

"You're rambling, but I guess you're right. If you're in, then I guess I'm in."

Emmett rested his head in his hands, looking almost as defeated as the time Jeannine Brisco stole his clothes from the locker room and had her boyfriend throw them in the basketball hoop during senior year of high school.

I heard Jasper's footsteps behind me as his voice sounded loudly in my ears.

"Fantastic! Promise, y'all 're gonna do fine. It'll be great!" His enthusiasm had returned full force as he proceeded to impart his vast woman-charming ways to us. We never did get the hang of the southern accent. We had practiced everything else, though, and I was almost confidant in my ability to pull this off.

I focused my attention back on Jasper and the beauties he brought with him. Now that the moment had finally arrived and we would actually put his lessons to use, I wished I could hide. Or puke. Or puke and then hide. Anything to disappear from sight.

I looked at the three stunning women in front of us. The little one who moved like a dancer was definitely Emmett's type, and I could tell that the long-haired brunette was already smitten with Jasper. The Amazon with the blonde hair had me standing at attention. The last time I was this thankful for a table was in middle school.

The four stopped in front of our table, and Emmett and I sat agog. From the corner of my eye, I noticed Jasper was having some sort of seizure and I looked to see the cause. His face was contorted and he was gesturing…_oh, stand up_.

I yanked Emmett, and we both stood up quickly, knocking the bowl of pretzels over the table. Emmett started his nervous snort-laugh before pushing his glasses up his nose. I was no better, managing to turn every shade of red in the Crayola box. Jasper rolled his eyes and mouthed for us to calm down. Right, easy for him to say.

"Ladies, I'd like to introduce my friends, Edward and Emmett." We each waved as Jasper called our names.

I was sure my feet had all the answers to life's questions so focused on them. From the corner of my eye I could see Emmett's hands were in his pockets, alternating between there and at his sides.

"Em, Edward, these beautiful women are Alice, Rosalie, and my Bella."

I liked how Jasper staked his claim on Bella, very smooth. Judging by the adoring look on her face she was totally into it and didn't feel as though she'd just had her leg pissed on. Rosalie was the name of the goddess whose beauty had interrupted my world. I started to feel short of breath as I took in her perfect form – she was not going to be interested in me. At all.

Jasper pulled a chair out for Bella and the nudge to the ribs reminded me to do the same for Rosalie. After passing the nudge to Emmett, we each pulled chairs for our chosen dates.

For a moment, I wondered if they were okay with how Emmett and I had seemingly chosen our dates for them. If they objected, it didn't register with me. Not that I had skills at reading minds...or body language for that matter. I was so focused on Rosalie and trying to remember all the things Jasper said to do, that everyone else seemed to fade to the background.

Luckily for me, Rosalie seemed more than happy to direct the conversation. She actually seemed interested in the answers I gave to her questions. Well, at least I think she was – she never checked her watch. That was a not-so-subtle hint I did manage to pick up on my own.

Rosalie even laughed at a one of my jokes, not at me – at the joke. Not only did she get the joke, but she thought it was funny! Something within me changed as I listened to her beautiful laughter.

I asked Rosalie about herself. I listened while she spoke, and not just in silence while waiting for my turn to speak. I actually heard her. I watched in awe, mesmerized by her perfect lips forming the words I had so longed to hear. She was smart and funny. She was kind, though I could tell that she would stand up for her friends and herself. I found it more than easy to look in her deep, blue eyes and to ask her another question about herself. We spoke about what brought her to Boston, about what she did in her free time.

I managed to snap out of my Rosalie-induced stupor in time to hear the end of one of Emmett's terrible jokes.

"No dummy, pie are round, cornbread are square!" He guffawed, mouth gaping open, knee-slapping and snorting.

With wide eyes, I looked to Alice, sure that I would see a look of profound horror across her sweet features, but no. The look on Alice's face was anything but horrified; her eyes shone with her mirth. One hand covered her smiling mouth and one hand rested on Emmett's bicep as she giggled. She actually giggled at the stupid-ass joke we had been told in sixth-grade math class. I looked again, studying to see if any of it was fake, not that I was a good judge of such things. I couldn't detect any dishonesty. I looked at Jasper to gauge his response. He just sat back, holding Bella's hand and smiled at the scene playing out before us.

When I felt a hand rest on my knee, I turned my attention back to Rosalie.

"You know, Edward, you can relax with us." Rosalie gave me a gentle smile as she stroked her hand on my knee.

This, of course, caused two simultaneous reactions from me. First, I was touched that she would speak so kindly, so openly, about my nervousness and need for caution. Second, I felt the warmth of her hand travel straight from my knee to my ever-growing erection. I struggled to keep the beast within me at bay. I didn't want to give this beautiful creature the wrong impression. A part of me wanted very much to take her home and ravage her body. Hell, I wanted to take her on the table in front of God and everyone. However, I didn't want her to think that was all I wanted.

"Uh…" I swallowed, trying to get my voice to cooperate. "Thank you, for that, uh, Rosalie."

I could feel my brow furrow, trying desperately to get my mind and body in sync.

"Hey, look at me." When I made eye contact again, she continued. "Don't you know that Alice and I are here because we want to be? We don't pretend, Edward. We are both tired of playing games with boys. We're both tired of having to pretend to be people we are not. I know you think we're so different from you, but we really aren't. We get judged by our outsides as much as you do. It's a different light, but the same judgment. I like you. I think you are funny and smart. I can tell you care for your friends very much. I think you're beautiful, inside and out, and I think you are more of a man than anyone I've gone out with in a very long time."

"Wow."

That was kind of a lame reaction and didn't quiet cover the range of emotions I was feeling at her words. I was elated that she said she liked me. I was thrilled that she called me a man. I knew in years, I was considered a man, but always felt that I fell short of the mark. I was terrified of the pressure her words would put on me to live up to her expectations of me, whatever those expectations might be.

"And a man of many words." Rosalie giggled.

She brought her other hand to rest on my leg, and I tensed as she caressed my leg from knee to thigh. The closer she got to my now obvious and straining erection, the more tense I became. She leaned in close enough for me to smell her hair and feel her warm breath caress my neck as she spoke.

"Relax, Edward. I'll stop if you want me to. Just know that I don't want to. I have had so much fun talking with you tonight, but I can't help how your voice makes me feel. Please, please take me home. Make an excuse to Emmett and let's go."

She kissed the spot right under my ear, her perfume clouding my judgment as did her warm hands as they stroked my inner thigh. As Rosalie pulled away from me, she grazed her knuckles across my dick, and I almost lost it there and then.

I shot out of my seat, knocking the chair back. "Uh…Emmett. I gotta go. Um…taking Rosalie home. You okay?"

After stumbling through my so-called excuse, I noticed that Alice was almost in Emmett's lap whispering in his ear. The flush on his face and strategic hand placement let me know he was in much the same predicament as I was.

"Go, Edward. I'll make sure he's fine." Jasper smiled and nodded.

I almost had a flash of suspicion that he set this up just to get us laid, but something in the way Rosalie spoke to me kept that at bay.

"Uh…great. Bella, Alice…nice to meet you…"

Rosalie started pulling at my arm.

"You'll see them tomorrow for breakfast. The girls and I have breakfast every Saturday morning. C'mon!"

How could I do anything but follow her?

The ride back to her apartment was spent in relative, yet comfortable silence. Rosalie held my free hand in both of hers and leaned over the console enough to rest her head on my shoulder. Not wanting her to be too uncomfortable leaning over, I moved to lean into her, as well.

When we got to her apartment, I was unsure of the next step. I think I could recall maybe three times a girl had actually let me drive her home and in only one of those dates, did she invite me in. I thought that Rosalie had wanted me to come up with her but did not want to risk overstepping , should I have read her wrong.

I put the car in park.

"Edward, turn off the car. You won't need it again tonight."

Rosalie's voice was soft, and when I turned to look at her, the smile on her perfect lips dazed me. She raised her hand to caress my cheek and leaned in to kiss me. I froze for a moment before returning the kiss as best I could. When Rosalie pulled away, the look in her eyes was different; less soft than before, but somehow managed to inflame me.

"Come around and open my door, Edward. This isn't something that I should ever have to ask again, okay? Gentlemen open doors for ladies."

I jumped out of the car and raced around to open her door. I decided that if she was willing to tell me what to do, instead of ditch me for being incompetent, I would be the best student ever. I squashed the negative voice telling me this would be a one-time deal and that she would never want to see me again. Instead I focused my attention on pleasing her.

Rosalie's long legs emerged from the car, and she held her hand out to me, looking me in the eye expectantly. When my brain caught up with her silent request, I offered her my hand and helped her out of the car. She wrapped her arm around mine and pressed it to my body, wrapping her other hand around my own.

I strode toward the building at my usual pace, only to feel her tug me back.

"I'm in heels, Edward. I do not clomp around. I set the pace, okay? I know you can remember that, can't you?"

"Of course…uh…sorry." I slowed down to match her steps.

When we got to her apartment, she handed me her keys to open the door.

"Gentlemen go in first."

I led Rosalie into her apartment and prayed that all the porn I studied over the years would help me be an adequate lover. If that was, in fact, where this evening was headed. I was starting to wonder with all the 'ladies' and 'gentlemen' talk what her intentions really were. I was worried that this was quickly turning into an etiquette lesson, not that I would mind just enjoying her company, but it had been a while since I'd had physical contact with a woman. The contact had never been at the woman's home, or mine, for that matter. Usually it was an awkward interlude in a hotel.

"Edward, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable. Will you tell me if you do?"

Rosalie put down her purse and slipped off her shoes. She walked over to me and I watched her hips swaying to a beat only she could hear. She wrapped her arms around my waist and pushed her lithe body into mine.

"Does this make you uncomfortable?"

She smiled and ran her hands up my back and back down to cup my ass. I squeaked and flinched forward, effectively pressing myself even further into her.

"N-no, not u-uncomfortable, uh, exactly."

I cleared my throat again and tried to calm myself.

It was difficult to think clearly with her body so close to mine. Instinctively, I leaned my head down to take in the sweet scent of her hair, letting my hands travel from her trim waist up her arms.

"I think I can tell exactly how you are feeling, Edward. I want you to know that I like that I have this _effect_ on you," she cooed, gripping my very hard cock in her hand.

I couldn't contain my groan or stop my hips from pushing my cock further into her hand.

"Please, Rosalie. Please. I…it's been so long. Please don't tease me if you don't really want me. I don't think I could handle it. I don't think my heart could handle it if you don't want me like I want you."

The words fell from my mouth, telling her things I didn't want her to hear. Not yet. Not after a grand total of four hours of knowing her, but I couldn't help it.

"I want you, too, Edward. I promise to be careful with your heart. I can't say the same for this hot body of yours, though."

With that, she dropped to her knees in front of me, thus fulfilling the first act of nearly every fantasy I had ever had. Her hands unfastened my belt and trousers as I clenched my fists at my side.

What could I do? I knew what I wanted to do...I wanted to wrap my hands in her hair and shove my cock down her throat, but that seemed like the wrong thing to do to a woman, a woman who had already submitted herself to me in such a way.

My eyes rolled back at the feeling of her hot lips kissing my stomach and her wet tongue traced along the skin of my lower hips and down to the base of my cock. The hot wet sensations of her tongue caused my dick to twitch and nudge against Rosalie's cheek.

I nearly came undone when she giggled and looked up at me, eyes twinkling in amusement. "I think your cock may be as eager for my mouth as I am to taste it."

She raised an eyebrow and gave me a devilish smirk. I watched in awe as her pink tongue passed her soft lips and licked the bead of liquid from the head of my hard cock. My mouth parted with hers in anticipation of her next move. My breath hitched as she plunged my cock into her mouth hitting the back of her throat. I moaned as she started sliding her lips along my shaft taking in my every inch. I could feel her tongue working me in opposite directions, and I almost come undone as her tongue teased and flicked across the head.

Her hands released my thighs and moved to my hands. Gently, she unclenched my fists and put them into her hair, right where I wanted them all along. Her head never stopped bobbing, and I watched the goddess before me as she eagerly took in every inch with unwavering attention. Her hands started moving my hips to meet her mouth. She thrust my cock into her mouth, deep, plunging it as deeply as I wanted to. Abruptly she stopped, popping my cock out of her mouth.

"I know that you want to fuck my mouth, Edward. I'm letting you know that it's okay. Don't make me work harder than I have to get what we both want. Let me feel you enjoying what I'm doing."

Her words urged me on, and I gripped my hands through her hair as I pulled her face back to my aching cock, aligning myself to meet her plump lips. When she opened her sweet mouth in anticipation, I took a deep breath and plunged my dick as far as I could go.

God help me, I fucked her mouth.

The more she moaned and gripped my hips to bring me closer, the more I let myself enjoy the moment. I could feel the tightening in my balls, and with every ounce of self-control, I pulled her away.

"Not like this Rosalie. I don't want to finish yet."

She nodded in understanding as I helped her up to her feet, her lips now swollen and red from the friction of my thrusting.

I smoothed the pad of my thumb across her lips gently. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have been so rough with you."

"Shh. Don't ever apologize for giving in to what you want. I know you could tell that I enjoyed it. I would have let you cum. Maybe next time you'll let me do that?"

My heart skipped a beat. Next time. She said next time!

"O-okay. Uh, sure."

She giggled. "Do I have to twist your arm for that too?"

Her giggle was contagious, and we both laughed while she led me to her bedroom. I felt a little more at ease in her presence, and her constant reassurances were invaluable, but as we reached the door to her room, the tone changed.

"After I take your shirt off you, I want you to undress me. Take your time, Edward. Don't fight your urges just because you think I won't like it. I'll tell you if I don't like something. If I like it, it will be hard to miss." She winked.

Rosalie started to remove my shirt, kissing each new spot of skin revealed. I pulled her closer to me as her lips wrapped around and sucked my nipples. I had never felt a sensation like it before. The jolt from my nipple to center of my cock was amazing and entirely breathtaking.

"Oh, God, do that again, please."

My eyes shot open when I realized that I said the words aloud. Instead of my words ruining the moment, I was gifted with the addition of teeth pulling just to the point of pain and then a languorous lap of her tongue to take away the sting.

My clothes were now removed, and I focused my attention on Rosalie. I kept in mind all the things she had done to me so that I could do my best to return the favor, hoping it would be enough. I lifted the sinful dress over her head as the fabric slipped away, revealing her perfect body. Working slowly and cautiously, I removed the last traces of the lace she wore while admiring her curves.

I dropped to my knees, mimicking her earlier motions downstairs. First, it was the best way to give thanks for finding myself staring at such a beautiful woman. Second, it put me at the right spot to admire the perfectly groomed pussy in front of me.

My inexperience was now starting to worry me. Sure, I understood the mechanics and technically, I could even imagine how to do it, but actually putting it into practice was a different story.

"You can't do it wrong, and I swear, despite the rumors you may have heard, there are no teeth down there. It won't bite." She giggled again and ran her fingers through my hair, gently scraping my scalp.

Something about her tone calmed me, and spurred me to action. I leaned in close, inhaling the sweet scent of Rosalie and the musky scent of girl. I wanted to taste her, to plunge into the mystery of woman-ness and never return, but the mild trepidation and worry for my lack of skills still concerned me. The feel of Rosalie's fingers on my scalp and her purr of anticipation drove those worries away.

I pushed my tongue past her moist lips and into her sweet heat. Uncontrolled moans rumbled in my chest as my eyes rolled in my head. This was truly the most wonderful thing I had ever experienced. Ever.

I pulled her hips closer – burying my face further into her heat. Instinct seemed to take over. Her moans guiding me as surely as her hands guiding head and we fell into a steady rhythm. My confidence soared as I realized that Rosalie would not let me falter or fail.

I sucked and licked with passion. I thrust my tongue inside her tight entrance, amazed that I could feel her muscles reacting to my ministrations, encouraging me. I maneuvered so I could watch her face while I nibbled and suckled her clit. Seeing her eyes glazed over with a fierce passion and pleasure urged me on further.

I started crawling, pushing her gently toward her bed. I wanted to be above her while I made her come undone. I wanted to watch as I brought her to a climax, as I proved to myself, and to her, that I was the man she thought I could be. I was surprised by the emotions and desires let loose by this woman. By controlling me and guiding me, she was setting me free.

I settled between her legs and attended my task of watching Rosalie cum. I reached up to knead her breasts, pulling lightly at her tight nipples. Her hips started rocking wildly as I once again sucked her clit. I wrapped my arms around her waist, pinning her to the mattress so I could continue eating her without hindrance. Rosalie's head thrashed when her hips could not. Her hands went from my hair to her breasts and back, never resting in one spot for long. Her moans became load and uncontrolled, and I could feel her muscles tightening as strong waves of desire overcame me. I eased one finger inside her–apprehension getting the better of me.

Rosalie begged for more, rocking her hips as best she could against my finger. My confidence grew, and I slid another in, working the two fingers against her, thrusting in time as I stroked my tongue against her clit.

Still she cried for more.

I added a third finger and she cried out. Her body became rigid, her muscles pulsing against my fingers, and her sweet nectar filled my hand. I lapped at it, licking into her while she rode out her orgasm at my hand.

Never had I ever witnessed anything as beautiful as Rosalie Hale, post-orgasm. Her skin was glistening with her sweat. Her cheeks and chest were flushed with her passion. This was a sight I would surely remember for the rest of my life.

"So, I take it that I did okay?" I teased, while discretely wiping my chin.

She giggled, still panting from her release. "Yeah, that was passable."

"Passable?" I questioned.

She lifted herself onto her elbows and grinned at me. "If that's how you eat pussy, I can't wait to see how you fuck."

* * *

Thank you to Clurrabella, Lacym3, & Kerry 513 for helping me figure out the right words to turn everyone on.


End file.
